How to tell you've been too long on the computer

  1. Someone tells you to remember something, and you look for File/Save command.
  2. You find it easier to log into Met Office/cgi/weather than to look out the window.
  3. You find yourself engaged to someone you've never actually met, except through e-mail.
  4. You put your e-mail address in the upper left-hand corner of envelopes.
  5. You can't remember where to put the stamp on an envelope.
  6. You set up Web pages for your pets.
  7. You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
  8. You give your girlfriend a tattoo that reads: "Best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
  9. You see a beautiful sunset and you half expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 2.0" on one of the clouds
  10. You get rid of the dog and buy a gopher.
  11. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
  12. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
  13. On holiday you try to speak to foreigners in Javascript.
  14. At night you dream in Dynamic HTML.
  15. You find yourself typing "com" after every full
  16. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape the garden.
  17. You tell the cab driver you live at http://www123.elm.street/home.html.
  18. Whenever you have your car serviced you ask the mechanic to check the Lycos.
  19. You no longer know the difference between a car engine and a search engine.
  20. You're driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careering towards the flimsy rail that separates you from the edge of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the Back button
  21. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access
  22. Your hard drive crashes. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem... And you succeed!