How to tell you've been too long on the computer
- Someone tells you to remember something, and you look for
- You find it easier to log into Met Office/cgi/weather
than to look out the window.
- You find yourself engaged to someone you've never
actually met, except through e-mail.
- You put your e-mail address in the upper left-hand corner
- You can't remember where to put the stamp on an envelope.
- You set up Web pages for your pets.
- You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom and stop and
check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
- You give your girlfriend a tattoo that reads: "Best
viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
- You see a beautiful sunset and you half expect to see
"Enhanced for Netscape 2.0" on one of the
- You get rid of the dog and buy a gopher.
- You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
- You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,
like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
- At night you dream in Dynamic HTML.
- You find yourself typing "com" after every full
- You move into a new house and decide to Netscape the
- You tell the cab driver you live at
- Whenever you have your car serviced you ask the mechanic
to check the Lycos.
- You no longer know the difference between a car engine
and a search engine.
- You're driving on a dark and rainy night when you
hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careering
towards the flimsy rail that separates you from the edge
of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately
look for the Back button
- You decide to stay in college for an additional year or
two, just for the free Internet access
- Your hard drive crashes. You pick up the phone and
manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to
communicate with the modem... And you succeed!