Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one night, with Paddy the Pilot, and Gerry the co-pilot. As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window.
"B'jeesus" said Paddy "Will you look at how fookin short that runway is". "
Ya not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Gerry.
"Tis is gonna be one a' the trickiest landings you are ever gonna see" said Paddy.
"Ya not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Gerry.
"Right Gerry. When I give the signal, you put ta engines in reverse" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing tat" replied Gerry.
"And ten you put the flaps down straight away" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing tat" replied Gerry.
"And ten you stamp on tem brakes as hard as you can" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing tat" replied Gerry.
"And ten you pray to ta Mother Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing tat" replied Gerry.
So they approached the runway with Paddy and Gerry full of nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Gerry put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all of his soul. Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt inches from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Gerry and everyone on board. As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Gerry
"Tat has gotta be the shortest fookin runway I have EVER seen in my whole life".
Gerry looked out the side window and replied "Yeah Paddy, and the fookin widest too".